Grimes at home..... It sucks

  We  Well it's been a while since my fingers have met this keyboard. And I'm not sitting on a white sandy beach with a Campari soda basking under the Italian sun. I've just spent a few hours at the winnemucca jail house. But I'll have to get to that later.

   I had every intention of writing more of an educational series of blogs explaining just how eurocamping works. I wanted to give tips and recommendations and had grandeur plans of spreading the ease and cost effective way a family can travel through Europe. I got a little sidetracked.

  A few days before my return to the states I received an anonymous  tip that my beloved daddy was put on hospice. Now my husband does hospice care for a living, so I am fully aware of what this means. Apparently my mom had decided it wasn't necessary to alarm me. But I understand, you get hospice when you have six months or less to live. Sometimes they put people on hospice and take them off. Surely that is what will happen with my dad. Why send off an alarm? Our family is the ultimate non drama family. Needless to say I was more than anxious to get home and get to oregon to kiss my dada and support my mom.

  Two days after our return, we had a BBQ with some of our close friends. I wanted to give hugs and say hello because I was going to be spending a Lot of time in Oregon . A lot of driving back and forth you know because my dad wasn't doing well. Our beloved dog a giant slobbery St. Bernard seemed to enjoy seeing everyone. She ate chicken and ribs and rolled on her back all night so everyone could rub her matted furry tummy. The next morning she couldn't get up. She made strange sounds and her legs were jutting out like she was convulsing. She was old,very old for such a big dog. It was the end. We called a mobile vet who would euthanize her and take her away and cremate her. She saved us the 150$ euthanization fee and took her last breath on our front lawn with us all surrounding her. Cole and Brock laid on top of her as she died and we all cried hopelessly. Within an hour or so the lady came and took her already stiff giant furry body away never for us to see again. 

  I left to oregon two days later. I really expected that my dad would be with us atleast six months, and maybe more you know they do take people off hospice ? When I first saw my dad I was greatful he recognized me. His eyes looked bad. I saw a similar look that I saw in Bella's eyes and it scared me to death. The details surrounding the next two weeks are too depressing to share , but long story short my wonderful beautiful father , the best man in my life, our family head passed away in his bed with us kids surrounding him with every ounce of love we had to give. It was the most painfull thing I've ever experienced in my life. When he took his last breath I realised I was not ready for this. None of us were. This wasn't supost to happen. This man was perfect in our eyes. This was the worst day of my life to day the least.

   My family is from Oregon and we do things diffrent. We bury our own family. Yes that's right. We are from Oregon and we are weird like that. My brother had built a beautiful coffen and we dressed him and placed him in there and drove him to his final resting place ourself. My poor mom. She lost everything that mattered to her that day. 

  So fast forwarding to life currently. I have tried my best to keep insanely busy and not think about all the sadness in my heart. I do okay most days. I have an amazing support group of friends. I have a horse in my life names rio who is my therapy and absorbs my feelings in even the worst days and who is the best therapist any person could pay for. 

  Yesterday we received bad news yet again. Our accountant informed us instead of getting our much anticipated tax return we owe a buttload of money on taxes. Truly like a big buttload, like kardashian butt. Well okay whatever, even though I was very happy that the day before we were nearly debt free, we can make this work. I've never been afraid of not having money. It will be tight but we can take care of it. I resume my purpose driven positive business. 

   The next day we head to Idaho to attend a wedding. I've been asked to be a bridesmaid since the brides sister had an unfortunate leg breaking incident. So we pack up and head out early, leaving behind a house under construction. ( another story, but hey I'm trying to stay busy) we are carpooling with our great friends Britt ,Jamie and there cute little boys. 

   60 miles or so past winnemucca jim sails by a highway patrol car parked on the side of the road, a few moments later he's right behind us lights firing away. Oh bummer , oh well let's keep this positive we can just tack this ticket on to our mounting debt ,no biggie. He goes back to his cop car and jim says I can see he's writing me a ticket. Oh well, you can't charm them every time. The officer walks up to the window and ask Jimmie to step out and walk behind the car. Well that's weird. Hmm, maybe he sees my bottle of wine peeking out of the picnic basket and is suspicious. I watch my side mirror and am horrified to watch him tell Jimmie there is a warrant out for his arrest!  What? !!!!  Immediately my already out of whack hormones and purposefully repressed emotions come pouring  out of me like a giant tsunami. You must be kidding!!! You got the wrong guy, this is a mistake! " mam get back in the car,"   What the bleep? You just handcuffed my husband, we are law abiding citizens! " your husband had a ticket in 2013 and never paid it so there's a warrant out for his arrest! " well I'm glad officer you cleared that up, I thought for a minute he was leading a double life and was a terrorist on the side of being the best father / husband I know of, with the exception of my dad who is now dead, and you are telling me your taking him to jail for an unpaid ticket?!!! I completely lost my #### I was waving my arms in the air like a deranged crazy woman, " we pay oyr taxes, we obey all the laws were good people!  We pay our bills Always!!!!  He said " mam you better get back in the car before you hit me" 

  By then I was beside myself. " I'm not gonna hit you!!! Or anyone else, that's what I'm telling you dumb butt were good people!!!" Sorry mam you can bail him out in winnemucca. For real??? We just drove an hour past winnemucca. " isn't there a jail you can toss him In a little closer to Idaho ? " 

No mam but you can follow me. 

   

By this time my handcuffed husband is in the back of the police car, Britt and Jamie have arrived to help. The kids are amazingly calm. We follow the cop car an hour back out of our way and speed to keep up with him. I declare when I get there I want to make a citizen arrest on this jerk.  The police officer and the fat rude woman behind the bullet proof glass window say he is eligible for mail bond, but won't explain what that means to me. I try to tell them " look were not people who frequent jail houses what the hell is a bail bond?" " mam I can't tell you that but you can call him yourself if you wish."  Do I need a bail bond? Or I can I just give them money and get him out? Is he in a real cell with bars back there? Are they strip searching him? Are there burly winnemucca men back there who would just love a little Arabian lover? I'm completely freaking out!!! 

   Little Bryce asks " mommy is uncle jimmy a bad guy?" Brock sarcastically answers " well Brock, Jimmie obviously isn't the man we thought he was. " 

   One thing led to another and I pissed off the woman behind the bullet proof glass. I was so livid by this point. This justice system sucks, I know there are meth heads , pedophiles crooks out there right now and our tax money is paying forth this?   You law enforcement people is this was you dreamed of when you thought you'd be a cop and catch bad guys? Well good for you , you caught Jimmie. I wanted to verbally rip her head off and chew it up and spit it back at her. The only only thing that helped me keep any resemblance of mental stability was Britt and Jamie and all of the kids sitting there with me. 

   When I asked the rotten beast of a woman behind the glass, " when is he coming out? I paid the money, you processed the papers, when is coming out?" She fired back at me " if you want to know then go call on that grey phone and ask them"  so after  a while I go over to the grey phone and pick  it up' I kindly and calmly ask" I was just wondering when is m husband going to get out of there?" 

  Well apparently the beast had time to report to her burly side kick in the back , because she immediately went off into controlling phsyco cop chick mode. " listen your acting like a crack and you were rude to the girl at the front, and he gets out when we let him out!""" Okay by this time smoke is blowing from my nose and the back of my neck is sweating from furor. " listen lady , I don't even know what a crack is, I'm just asking a simple question, but I'm pretty sure if there's a " crack" here, whatever that is, it's YOU!!!"    After firing back some unnecessary insults because she can, because she's the poor sap who has no control over anything else in her life she can vent on the  stranded wives of men who forgot to pay a 50$ ticket in the lonely awful town of winnemucca, she finally informs me he is almost done. We'll gee thanks for answering the question. So 500$ in bail, which had to be paid in cash ( thank god winnemucca had a Wells Fargo)  finally Jimmie was set free. 

  Well we are back on the road again. Life at home just doesn't feel the same as traveling through ought Europe that's for sure. To sum it up, after you've been thrown in the slammer it can't get any worse right? I'm looking forward to a peaceful long winter, drinking wine by the fire with good friends and enjoying the contend ness that comes with being broke, embracing the family and friends that I hold dear. Hopefully no more run ins with the law. 

It's almost over, what have we gained?

   Well I couldn't end this journey without taking time to be thankful for this adventure. As I sit here on this plane squished between Jimmie and a little elderly woman from Oregon who seems to be passing gas, I have a mixture of feelings. I am happy to be landing on the same land where my family and friends live.  I miss the welcome I get every day at home from my little king Louis ( my Shitzu dog)  who always loyally loves me and wants to be with me all the time. I miss Bella our giant old dog who has been such a faithfull member of our family for nearly twelve years. I miss rio, my favorite horse, who teaches me the value of trust and letting go and gives me so much peace and comfort. So of course home is good and I want and need to be going home now, but I don't look forward to things just being the same as they always are. The kids will go back to wasting countless hours on video games, Jimmie will be completely immersed in work, and I'll be heading to Oregon and dealing with the sadness Parkinson's disease has brought our family. My heart sinks to think that maybe dad won't know who I am.

   Will our life will slip into the same monotony it had before?  Change . Oh how I love change. It's the only consistent thing about me, I never get bored of change.

  But as I said, this is a page about being thankful. How can I not be thankful that we had two monthes to spend together without all the distractions of daily life. We were able to see so many beautiful and interesting places. We opened our minds and hearts to new ways of thinking and doing things that can only be gained by exposing yourself to new people and places. Travel helps you to grow in a special kind of way. The faces of people we met on our travels are stamped into my heart forever.  My kids have true friends on the other side of the globe and saw firsthand as one of Jehovah's witnesses we can have family wherever we are at. Visiting bethel heightened our appreciation for all of the work that goes on behind the scenes.  There is so much to be thankful for every day. Even the bad days are an opportunity to learn and grow. The simplest things are what I remember the most, for instance the sunsets or playing in the sea with the boys and quiet candlelight dinners in our luxurious trailer. You don't need a two month European tour for these things, but I highly recommend it anyhow. 

   So as I walked through my front door I was both happy and sad at the time. Happy to be home , because we have a good life here filled with wonderful people but sad the journey is over. 

Stockholm

   We said our final goodbye to italy feeling content that we had been there long enough. It was wonderful to have three weeks to get acquainted with such a warm endearing culture.  We had enough pizza pasta and gelato to last us a lifetime.  Our minds and hearts are filled with beautiful memories that will last a lifetime. But all good things must end.  

   So last but not least we found ourselves in one of the worlds most beautiful cities, Stockholm.  Our flight was pretty painless, our luggage weighed to much, but typical to all the other Italians we've come across the guy just winked at us and said " have a nice flight."   The draw for us in Stockholm is people . We have the best of friends there.  Jarmo and Eila we met through my Swedish friend at home and they are very special people. I've been told once you have a Swedish friend, you have a friend for life. They are actually Finnish people, but that's irrelevant they live in Sweden and will surely be our friends for life. We stayed at their eldest daughter and son in laws house with their three sweet little children, the first night I was so happy to sit with a girlfriend and talk I kept Isa up till almost 2:00 in the morning. At home, I have the best girl friends in the world, and being the mother of three boys I need my girl time desperately. So after nearly two monthes without my female companions I was overjoyed to have the company of a cool chic who spoke English. 

   It's fun having friends in other countries because you really get a true sense  of the culture and for us we get to experience city life.  There is some marked differences culturally. I spoke with one of jarmo and Eila' s  friends who after visiting a while asked why we seemed different from other Americans they had run across. He felt we were more open. The ones he met before seemed uptight if I could put it into one word. He talked about the Finnish sauna and how natural it is for families and friends to use the sauna together. We both agreed it's Americans who are the perverts.  Our culture is so much more sex oriented and makes natural things seem more dirty. For instance, the house we stayed at was full of nude art. It was a Mecca for boobie lovers. Coles eyes about popped out of his head when he first noticed all the boobies everywhere. I explained, this is art. It didn't bother us at all ,Infact I found it amusing, but in our culture many people I know wouldn't see it as art but be offended. So I love traveling and seeing and experiencing the variety of things people enjoy and I love the exposure my kids have had   to different ways of doing and thinking about things. Another interesting difference is the things we get used to and see as completely necessary, for instance a car. Our friend Marcus is a painter. How on earth does he do his job without a car? He goes to work with a bike. Yes a bicycle. He has to pedal it. He carries his ladder and brushes and buckets all on his bike. Snow and rain and winter darkness doesn't stop him. Amazing really.  We would self combust if we had to do this, but he happily works this way. He even comes home in a great mood, with a houseful, of guests. Another difference, it's illegal to spank your kids. Whooa now this one may be going to far. I'm a huge fan of spanking. But this is another interesting thing, our friends have have eight grand children and they are not spanked but they all are so well behaved and adorable. They don't fight with each other that I could see, they were kind and gentle and well mannered. Also they survive in the city. I used to wonder how children survive in cities and don't get run over by cars but these kids are well trained and learn from a very young age to not run in the street. They also have plenty of time outside in nature with plenty of parks and it sounds funny but there's a lovely cemetery right around the corner that is perfect for the kids bikes and scooters or just playing. They certainly won't have the people living their complain of noise and the kids can't hurt anyone for sure. After staying with them, I have an itch. Brace yourselves. I want to move to San Francisco. At least it's not Europe family and friends so don't worry. 

   I am not a fan of staying with people. I love having people stay with me, but when it comes to me staying with others I cringe at the thought. I'm so afraid of imposing or annoying my host I usually won't go in the first place. This is a grievous thing for Jimmie. It drives him nuts that I'm like this. There's only a handful of homes I'm comfortable enough to stay with. But as I get older I'm trying to balance this out a little. When you have friends there are five ways you can show them love. Each of us have our own love language. There is a book written on this subject that I love. My love language, the thing that makes me feel loved ,is primarily two things, first on my list is time, second is touch. You can tell me you love me all you want, but if you don't have time for me or don't hug me I'll never believe you. So here is where I'm trying to find my balance, if I don't make time for people I claim to love then that makes me a hypocrite, so I have to step out of my comfort zone in some cases and plop myself on someone's sofa, or in this case guest room. 

   Now the the thing is these friends of ours are so amazingly hospitable and comfortable and we were having so much fun I never for one moment felt like we were imposing. On the contrary, we were treated so lovingly I felt so embraced and happy that we made the right decision to go to Sweden again.  We didn't need to be entertained . The city is a glorious place just to mozy  around and soak up  the creative open environment, but truly the best part was our friends and all their awesome kids and spouses who made us feel so special.

   The kids had an amazing time. Our friends introduced them to a group of teenagers from their congregation and we hardly saw them after that. So now they have a whole new slew of Swedish friends their age that they really loved. We met so many lovely people this week it's hard to know where to start. What was so impressive was the time and energy people gave of themselves. 

   By the time we left we had tears in our eyes. Why must the ocean be so big? 

  The Juintenen  family are the the kindest gentlest family I have come across but are also incredibly fun to be around. That's a great mix. It's hard to find people that have both of those features. So in summary, it was a perfect end to our journey. We were no longer lonely or homesick for those last few days we felt like we were with family. 

Rome in a golf cart

   Camping fabulous is the name of the sight in Rome we stayed at. By the time we got there , rushed to change , find food and make the meeting I was pretty beat.  So when Monday rolled around I sent jim and Tristan into the city to get some of the sightseeing out of the way because the younger boys and myself didn't have the energy to chase daddy all over Rome.  So I arranged to meet up with him later in the city. Now for me , this ment I had to put my big girl panties on. I am so used to just letting Jimmie figure stuff out and we all just follow him so for me to figure out the bus and train all by myself was a big deal. But you know what? I did it just fine, we all made it with no problems at all. We even had no trouble finding Jimmie and Tristan.

  So Jimmie tells me he knows what we are going to do. We are going to rent a golf cart and ride it around Rome. You can park it anywhere for free, drive on the narrow streets and it will fit us all, well mostly fit us all. It's designed for four people but we will just squeeze in. Sounds legit. So here we are cruising around Rome in a golf cart. At first I was scared to death, were driving in the streets, through intersections and round abouts. Busses and motorcycles and cars are all around us. Were completely exposed really. When jim rents it he says they just gave him the keys and basically sent him on his way. No safety instructions, no guidance. The only warning was written in the dash board, it literally said" don't fall out, or tip the cart over, this may cause death." Hmmm. That's reassuring. So with one butt cheek hanging off the side, we just zipped all over the city. It was so much fun!!! We got to see so much this way!! We could take this thing anywhere!! There were absolutely no rules at all. We saw several police and thought we might get in trouble for exceeding the limit. Nope. They just giggled at us crazy Americans. We did illegal u turns , drove on side walks and streets and the cobble stone roads around the colleseum. It was one of the funnest nights we had for sure. Rome is absolutely an amazing place. I love it!!!!  I really can not put into words how incredible Rome is, I could definitely come back again and again.

  The kids made up a game to see who could get the most high fives. Again I was touched by the heart of Italians.  Cute guys would go out of their way to high five the loco American kids. Cole won for sure. Who can resist his cute freckly face and smile? 

  We found an Irish pub to watch the World Cup. France won and the whole place cheered. I don't really care, but I enjoy being in a room full of people who do care. 

  We crawled into bed exhausted but happy. Once again , just as a family of five we were able to have an amazing amount of fun together.  We have got to hang on to these memories and hold them very close to our heart, you just don't know what tommorow brings. Financially speaking, leaving to tour Europe for two monthes may not be the most responsible thing to do, but I think it's memory's like this that would come to my mind if I were on my death bed, I wouldn't be thinking about how much money I should have kept in the bank. You just can't put a price tag on the time we have had together. I'm very greatful we have had not only the circumstances to do this but the gypsy heart  it takes to throw caution to the wind and just go. 

   I owe it all to my husband , my best pal , my soul mate who always makes his dreams and mine come true.  All who wander are not lost......

Rome bethel

   Monday we were invited to lunch at bethel by the brother we met at the Rome Kingdom Hall. This was a real privledge that we weren't about to miss.  To be honest though, I was a little scared to join them with my family. As we walked in to the lunch room I almost had a meltdown.  I drilled the kids ahead of time, don't forget they say a prayer together so don't take any food until it's passed to you, don't talk about knives,video  games, movies farts or anything of the like. if you fight I will positively die of a heart attack on the spot.  It went fine and I relaxed after a little bit.  They were all very sweet and made us feel welcome and miraculously the kids behaved and actually enjoyed themselves. The bethel in Rome serves wine with lunch that is made by a watchtower farm outside of Rome. They also produce their own olive oil,but unfortunately not for to much longer.  Soon they will be selling that land. They only serve one small bottle for a large table so it is not enough to slow anyone down. I tasted it. It was very good. 

  The tour was lovely. We have seen three of them so far. London, croatia and now Rome. We took the tour with a few others, some very sweet people from Delaware and a Giliad couple from Dominican Republic but originally from San Francisco. By the end of the tour we were all pals and exchanged numbers.  I'm always impressed by the willing spirit of the people who work there. Bethel life runs a tight ship and these people work hard. It's not a life for everyone, but they are very happy people. They deserve to be, they have made really good choices for their life for a long time in order to be able to work there and they are blessed for that. The boys really get a chance to see our international brotherhood and all the hard work and self sacrafise that goes on behind the scenes.  One thing that impressed me that our guide, a circuit overseer for many years, told us was that everyone, including him, when they first come has to do every job for atleast one day so that they will appreciate the work. That means that he spent a day in laundry, a day scrubbing toilets and so on. He said he was supervised by a sister who had him get on his hands and knees to scrub the bathroom properly. This is done to ensure that everyone stays humble and no task is greater seen as than the next. 

   Well were on to Sweden now.  We have very dear and wonderful friends there and it's the perfect end to our journey. I don't care about seeing anything  at all. This is all about being with friends. So we will enjoy whatever we do because we will be in good company and I'm not sure we will ever have a chance to do a trip like this again so I am trying to remain greatful and enjoy every moment. 

   Stockholm look out... Here come the grimes.....

Meeting in Rome

  Well I've got my Italian gramma now.  We went to the Kingdom Hall in rome yesterday. A very tiny but super friendly hall. It took great effort to get there and frankly I would have given up the effort if it weren't for Jimmie pushing us. I'm glad he did, the meeting was great . Emphasis on spending time together as a family reminded me I'm so glad we came. We met some wonderful brother who invited us to lunch at bethel. This is a real privledge. We do that tomorow. Also we met a brother who does bible tours in the city so we have arranged that. We met a sister from New York who married an Italian and she invited us to meet for ice cream. Next to the ice cream place we found another Kingdom Hall full of Italian people just leaving their meeting.  They were all very friendly and cute. We went in and visited for a while, I met this cute sister and her eighty year old mother who I think may have been senile. Her daughter kept telling her I don't speak Italian only English. She refused to acknowledge this and I have no clue what she was telling me but whatever it was , was pretty funny because everyone was laughing. They kept trying to shush her, but I loved every minute of it. I told them to tell her how I longed for an Italian gramma and can she be mine? She agreed and kissed my cheeks.  

  This is the beauty if Jehovah's organisation. We have family wherever we go.  It's been the best lesson for the kids to see this firsthand. 

A poem.... Kinda

  From Amsterdam to Naples I've traveled this far

Across mountains and rivers

To seas

And many bars.

There have been places and people I'll never forget

A life full of memories I'll never regret.

   

Time has moved slowly

As I've soaked it all in.

It felt as though I would  always 

have this permanent grin.

It's been two months since this adventure began 

Time sure sped up, 

As we near the end.

If there's one thing I've learned in my travels thus far

Life can be hell when your stuck in a car.

But it's a necessary evil, this is true,

It takes you places you haven't been before,

And when you arrive you surely must stop by the bar.

Talk to strangers

Buy them a drink

New people will help you find new ways to think.

Making friends wherever you go,

This is a knack you surely must know.

Taste new culinary delights.

Soak up new sights.

Rent a bike.

Take a hike.

Fly a kite.

You may come home with a new hobbie you really like.

  

Slow down and smell the roses.

Breath in the mountain air.

Feel the ground beneath you , and be happy that you are there.

 The world around you is a lovely place.

Not taking to time to see it

Now that's a disgrace. 

It's full of smiling friendly faces,

People just waiting for you to meet.

That's just something 

That can not be beat. 

Willie oh willie take me home...

  The almafi coast was beautiful. I imagine that greece is similar. Old white stucco buildings hugging the cliffs above the blue medieranian sea. We ate lunch at a place perched on a cliff that felt as if we were in a boat floating on the water. Pasta with fresh clams , bruschetta , more pizza for the kids. A sweet old Italian guy was the cook and the server. His face was sweet and tender and he kindly cared for us, treating us to cookies after our meal and reassuring me the con artist who ripped me off at the roadside vegetable stand is no reflection of southern italy itself.  The coastal towns were pretty touristy, but I could easily see why people visit here.

  Still I was having a hard time, being " in the moment" I kept thinking about home. The crook who ripped me off May be what tipped me over the homesick edge.   I have so much on my mind, I'll see if I can put it into words.

  Part of this adventure , this biggest part really, is the time we have to spend getting to know each other, and myself. That brings me back to the fraudulent fruit man. Jim pulled off the road to take a picture of the ocean view. There was a man with a truck there selling fruit. Jim lingered taking photos. I thought to myself, we shouldn't park here because this guy needs customers to pull off and buy stuff. This was a public area though, so we were doing nothing wrong. Still I got out not because I needed fruit, but because I felt obligated. The man spoke no English, I said I'd like a few cherries and maybe a watermelon.  I looked around and noticed two chiwawa 's then I saw three more. We looked over the fence on the road and I'm not kidding there had to twenty rabid chiwawa's that all wanted to eat us alive. This evil dog breeding ground wasn't exactly the makings of an " appetizing" fruit farm. He picked a cherry out of the basket and handed it to me to taste. How sweet. His hands looked as though he had a manicure in a dung pile, my eyes widened as I stared at his hand with layers of dirt and in slow motion he handed it to me waiting for me to try. Now instinctively, I didn't want to eat the cherry, it was surely covered in ecolli, and whatever other things linger in poop. But here's where I learn about myself.  I looked back at the dirty man , and popped the cherry in my mouth so I wouldn't hurt his feelings. This is ludicrous I know. Then he started putting gobs of cherries in the bag, I tried to slow him down, next thing you know he's putting peaches and nectarines in the bag. Oh well I think to myself, I guess we will get some of those too, even though I hate the furry skin of peaches. At least everything in italy is inexpensive. Then he drags out this scale, the most ridiculous fakest looking scale I've ever seen in my life,by this time Tristan and Brock are there with me. He looks at me and says 27€ .... Ok that's crazy I have a tiny watermelon, some cherries a few peaches bla bla bla.   Now my eyes are really wide at this point. The kids are like " mom, put it back forget it!"  But nooo..... I'm to much a stinking people pleaser for that. So I tell him politely ",to much, I don't want the nectarines,"  he put them back 3 of them and then tells me 22€.  Why do I care about pleasing this dirty cheat? What's wrong with me? How hard is it to say no?   So what do I do? I pull out a 50€ and hand it over to the man. Now the boys and Jimmie have  not let me forget about this for a minute. They insisted I take my picture next to the watermelons that were only  . 50€ . This whole incident really bugged me, and what really bothered me most was I knew he wasn't being honest and yet I still let him take advantage . So maybe it was this incident that got me in the funk that has made these last few days harder. 

   I have to admit, I am homesick. I'm ready to come home. I'm tired of the constantly being on the go. We have certainly seen so much but I've reached the point of mental exhaustion and I don't care about seeing anything anymore. Jimmie has much more stamina than me and can just go and go but I'm tired. I'm done.  Yesterday, we drove to mt. Vesuvius , this the day after Pompeii .  Some of us were not interested in seeing it but there was no way jim was going to miss it so we were happy to join him. Brock reminded him we have volcanos at home. Yes but, not volcanos that destroyed ancient cities. Okay... Fair enough... So back in the car we go. An hour and a half drive then and 30 minute walk up to the top of the crevice. I stared down into the " volcano" it's a giant pit of sand. I think jim expected to see bubbling lava. 

   Okay then were off to find the ferry in Naples to take us to the island of Capri. This is all in one day mind you, turns out the tickets to go there would cost us too much money so we changed our mind and I was so glad. Vacation overload. It happens when you try to see everything , I've lost interest.

  So instead we found ourselves at a nearby beach. It was an interesting experience. You get to the parking area and they " valet" your car , which means they squeeze it into this tiny space with fifty other cars and scratch the heck out of your bumper. Then you have to rent a loung chair on the beach. Fair enough and how can I complain about that?  So after you pay you follow the guy who carries your chair and literally step over people in their chairs until he finds space , but not really, for your chairs. I stare in disbelief when  He places our chairs 2 inches from the strangers in their speedos and woman with her hairy armpits . I had to laugh at this point.  People were laying on this beach squeezed so tight we were literally like sardines in a can.  Well I just kinda rolled with it, and was reminded how silly us Americans are with our need for personnel space. 

   After the beach we went to the town of sessa auranica for dinner. It was my kind of place, no tourists shop were seen and people stared at us like we were cone head aliens because everyone and I mean everyone is Italian. Dinner was great, so incredibly inexespensive. We ordered the " local wine" for 5€ and he brought us a liter in a carafe. It was delicious. 

   Willie Nelson played as we were driving, he sang " always on my mind" .  It was then that I was completely homesick. When I hear willie sing, I close my eyes and see mom and dad slowly dancing across the living room floor. Tears instantly streamed down my cheeks. I used to love to watch them dance , and they loved willie. I miss my parents, I especially miss my dad being healthy and how they were so in love with each other.  When I go home, I won't get to see them dance, we all watch in horror as daddy's health deteriorates.  But I want to go home still.  I was blessed with an amazing family, and I think of all of them, my brothers and my sister and I think, I wish they were here with me.  Dave would like this, Judy would love that, Danny would love her, Jon Jon has been here and loved this.  I wish mom would fly, I'd bring her here. Daddy is always In my heart and constantly on my mind. 

  So at the end of it all, with all my fantisations of moving abroad and doing something exotic and different there really is no place like home. That's where I belong, near my family and friends in my congregation. As much as I love everything about it here it's not like I could move here and just make it all mine. Everyone who knows me, knows I love to move, and expect me to pick up and take off again. But I think maybe those days are over, it's not for certain, but it seems that way. Traveling for this long gives me that " run away" feeling I love.  I remember " running away" when I was seven years old with my best friend Rachel. We packed oranges in a pillowcase and tied the pillow case to a long stick which we put over our shoulders . I loved the excitement of it. Maybe that's what gave me my run away heart. 

  Right now this heart of mine is ready to fly home. 

   

Pompeii

  We visited Pompeii today. It was  really interesting to say the least. The sophistication of the city really impressed me. The art on the walls that has lasted through the volcano and almost two thousand years pass the eruption. Mosaic tiles in beautifully ornate designs. 

   For some reason I never imagined you actually can walk through a whole city. I thought it was going to be more like a outdoor museum with a few plaster skeletons, I never imagined streets with the original stones, you can see the " cafes" of the time, their ovens their sinks, the stairs , many original fountains. It's all still there. It's amazing really!  It was a huge city and so much of it is still so much in tact. They even had a gym and sauna and bath house.

   The most memorable place though was the brothel. As we walked through our tour guide pointed out the fresco paintings on each room advertising each prostitutes " specialty". The boys giggled like crazy on that part of the tour. The beds were still in the rooms. Stone beds. Cole said " that couldn't have been very comfortable"   These people were perverts, our tour guide pointed out a huge carved penis in the side of a wall and pointed out that it was pointing the way to one of the many brothels. The kids of course laughed hysterically at that one too, while all the other guests oohed and awed at the stone penis and took pictures. 

   The temple area was also fascinating. A huge temple was devoted to their main god , Jupiter. He was believed to be the protector of the city. Ironically mt.   Vesuvius was in perfect view behind the broken down temple which Lay helplessly in ruins with the volcano staring down at it.  I could almost hear laughter from the mountain. 

   The amount of artifacts you are able to view in close range is astonishing. To see the people who died so long ago , cocooned into plaster it was hard to imagine they were real people like us. There was even a dog who died and he had a collar on. 

   It was a fascinating place for sure and anyone who digs history will for sure love to visit here. 

Amafi coast

   Well I can't quite dust the mental picture off my mind of that disgustingly dirty town we passed to get to one of the earths must beautiful coastlines. It's gorgeous here, no question about that. But how can it be so close by such an ugly place? 

   The drive has been a spectacular , breath taking and nerve racking expedition. The road has taken us   From sorrento   to positano on a disgustingly narrow  road with harrowing curves and cliffs of death that fall a thousand feet in to the endless Mediterranean. Add to this , crazy and I mean crazy drivers. They drive fast, they don't bother at all to stay in their lanes, they pass on curves and the motor bikes pass both on the right and the left, sometimes at the same time. So I've been trying to admire the beauty all the while hanging on to my seat for dear life and covering my eyes around every corner for fear it will be the last corner I ever wind around.  

  We stopped at a road side stand and I got shamboozled by some guy who tried to charge me 26€ for a watermelon some cherries and a few peaches. It actually hurt my feelings. 

  Well I suspect I like northern Italy more than the south but I'm not completely sure. 

   

   

Grumpy pants and earthquakes

    Sometimes in life, it seems just when you think you've ironed out all your issues, you've got it all figured out now, it's all good, everything heads south and you have to eat some humble pie just to remind you that you never really figure it all out every moment of every day. One thing I am certain of, every single family , including us, most definitely shares in common some level of dysfunction.  When we were younger we used to have our picture perfect families we thought had it all figured out , they were beautiful families, their children seemed intelligent and spiritually minded, they never raised their voices at each other, they never miscommunicated they always were blissfully in love with each  other. The moms never drank to much and danced ridiculously or said bad words, they were sophisticated and always in control.  Then as we grew up and watched these families over time our rose colored glasses cleared up and we saw in every case every family has some level of weirdness. Our family mostly defiantly has a healthy dose of weird. So after a wonderful day together we decided to do some nice healthy reading together, as we aim to do every week. One thing led to another and next thing you know instead of all sitting nicely together for some family time, our dysfunction reared it's ugly head and the evening was ruined .   

   Before long we all kissed and made up because for certain we all love each other dearly, but the next day sadness still lingered inside of me. We spent the day in sienna and I just couldn't shake my bad mood. Perhaps to much pasta and gelato, I don't know, but my grumpy pants were on so tight I couldn't get them off. Sienna was a beautiful city, but I was hot , tired , and after a certain amount of time all the cities started blending together. I started to question was this all worth it? Being gone this long , so far away, will we gain lasting benefit of closeness to each other? 

   The evening ended in our cozy trailer, with me cooking dinner and then Brock reading us big foot stories by candlelight.  My sadness slowly  drifted away and I fell asleep peacefully. But before that, Jimmie and I had some " making up to do" if you catch my drift. The boys were all asleep in their side of the trailer, but before long , Brock frantically ran up to our door," dad did you feel that earthquake?"  Umm .... Yah .. Weird... He was completely convinced the shaking of the trailer was caused by an earthquake. We certainly did not want to traumatize him any farther by letting him know his parents in particular his dad was the cause behind the shaking of the trailer. 

    Brock by the way is growing so fast . He has no clue about his strength and he's clumsy the way pregnant women are when ready to deliver , he steps on us constantly and accidentally walks in front of people or steps on purses in cafés . Yesterday he kicked off his shoes at the pool, one hit me in the face. Five minutes later he threw a ball and it hit me in the head. Five minutes after that he threw the ball and it hit the lifeguard in the head. 

   The next day on our way towards Naples we stopped at another thermal park. This one was even better than the last one. We all had a warm pool of fresh water to lay in. 

   We are now south of Rome in a town called Baia Domizia. The weather is warm and muggy , with occasional sprinkles. Our camp is hilarious, when we arrived the music was blasting at the pool, and I mean blasting!  They were doing some sort of dance competition at the pool. We watched for a while, I'm forbidden by my family to dance, so we headed to the beach. I was surprised that there were pretty decent waves and the water wasn't blue like I expected. We played football on the beach then played in the waves together. It was a perfect family night for our very imperfect family.  So yes I'm still glad to be here and do this but I am getting home sick as are the boys and Jim's work is finding it's way to italy so I feel by the time we are home I will  be more than ready.

  We are driving to the amalfi coast.  We passed through the grossest town I've ever seen in my life. If people saw this place and only this place they would hate italy. Garbage lay strewn all over the streets I've never seen so much trash laying around any city. Filthy. Prostitutes were standing all over the curbs and several police with machine guns! Where are we??? This can't be my Bella Italia!!! Brock said , " speed up!" But we all agreed we didn't want to get pulled over by police with machine guns! We stopped at a light and an old woman with whiskers on her chin took a rag and barely attempted to wash bugs off our car then within a minute was at our window wanting money. We gave her a euro . I hope she uses it to get some wax for her chin. 

  So hopefully the amalfi coast will be what we expect. I'll keep you posted.

    One final note,  when the trailer is a rocking, don't come a knocking......

Dinner time

Tonight I decided to cook something American , but with an ITALIAN twist considering all the wonderful ingredients I have here.   There's nothing more American than a burger so I thought ok how about a Burger ,

bruschetta ITALIAN style. 

  I started with a package of ground beef and a package of ITALIAN sausage . Added lots of fresh garlic some diced fresh parsley and the seasoning you buy here in Italy everywhere that is used for spaghetti. It's something we bought last time , I am bringing loads of it home this time. It's a combination of crushed chili, parsley and garlic and other things. Also I added some grated Parmesan . Mixed it all up and formed it into burger patties. 

     

    I took some day old bread , as I learned from an ITALIAN lady here, put it in the oven all by itself , no oil. Toasted it till crispy. Then I took some olive oil and tossed it with my seasoning. Of course the olive oil is very fresh, I bought it in lake Garda from a small farm. 

 I topped the toast with a drizzle of the chili oil , then the burger a thinly sliced tomato and red onion, some nice greens, more oil and there you have it!   It was a smashing success, and shows how fun and simply you can make a nice dinner while " glamping" in Europe. 

More of Tuscany

  We are more south , in the town of Sarteano.    The campground here is much quieter than the the last one. The pool is very resort like but other than that there's not a whole lot going on for kids except that there is free wifi in our trailer, a rare treat. So the boys are catching up in their virtual worlds of conquering empires and stealing gold in clash of the clowns or some silly game they all love. 

   This camp in my opinion is a great spot for couples. You can walk right into the heart of the town, and this is my kind of town, just the kind of place I described in my last post. The last camp in Tuscany, camping girasole is one spot I'd like to go back to and camp for vacation with friends and stay two weeks, this is a place I would pick up and move too. The surrounding area is an amazing spectacle of beauty, with golden rolling hills, vineyards galore , olive orchards, lakes , ancient villages, and the warm Tuscan sun shining on so many wonderful gardens.  The town is very old of course, with the cobblestone narrow streets and a castle, but no tourist shops.  The people are wonderful. 

   We tried to go to a meeting at the Kingdom Hall  yesterday but the people are at their convention. This is something I finally got jim to agree on is that next time we will stay in only a few places but for much longer, this time we are exploring and have seen so much, but it's so difficult to stick to our spiritual routine and not miss our meetings because were constantly on the move. But we have talked to so many people about the bible, it's been amazing. We have placed many tracts and tell people about j.w. Org to learn more about the bible and that is really nice.  I still look forward to not moving around so much next time.

  We had an awesome date last night. Jim had a grumpy day yesterday. He was frustrated we couldn't go to the Kingdom Hall and nothing seemed to be working out well for him in general so he was in a sour mood. He had made a dinner reservation for us at the most beautiful restaurant in town, up on the hill, in a beautiful old stone villa covered with vines with a lovely outdoor garden area for dining. Whatever grumpy bad moods we had the last few days quickly disappeared in this heavenly setting. We took a drink and climbed the old stone wall overlooking the Tuscan countryside and watched the sun silently disappear behind the golden hills. I said a prayer and thanked my creator that I'm married to someone who so appreciates something as simple and magnificent as watching the sun go down, 

   Our dinner was amazing!!! The place is called costa Santa chiara.   Our waiter was this sweet little grandpa and his son who was our age. The little grandpa who I wanted to adopt proudly told me his wife was in the kitchen doing all the cooking! The son told us his grandma used to cook in there with his mom, she died a few years ago, she was 93 years old and cooked in the restaurant until three months before her death. He said the secret to her good health was to drink wine every day.  Ok good I got that down. I couldn't believe this woman who was in her seventies was back there with only one assistant and was responsible for every delectable creation on the menu. The food was simple, not overly sophisticated, but totally fresh and authentic. You felt like you were eating at grammas house and gramma was a mastermind in the kitchen. Simple bean soup with Tuscan vegetables served with thin sliced raw onion and then drizzled with olive oil from their trees. Simple... Beautiful..,, pasta homemade by gramma, with loads of garlic chilies sardines and bread crumbs, MAMA MIA!!!! Eggplant layered with tomatoes from the garden and fresh mozzarella, a few meatballs on the side. A truly unforgettable meal in an unforgettable setting. We were there over three hours but it flew by because we never ran out of things to talk about. It's amazing after 23 years how two people can have so much to talk about still. The one thing I am so certain about in my life is that I am married to my best friend and I am eternally greatful for that. We really have an amazing time together. We made out like two teenagers on a park bench on the way home, it was awesome. 

  So today is a new day.  Going to a museum. See the castle here and check out a few more hill towns.

  Were leaving the grumpy pants behind today.

More of life under the Tuscan moon

    Well I can't call this one life under the Tuscan sun because I believe that's been taken so let's call it life under the Tuscan moon. Camp girasole was truly one of my favorite spots and definitely so for the boys. We all made so many friends there. The camp itself is very lively and has so much to offer. The cooking class will remain one of my best memories.  By the time we left we all were a little sad to leave our friends. Of course there was man and Gerry who we hope will come see us in two years in California, then there were the wonderful Irish families camped next to us we talked extensively too. Also for the first time ever camping through Europe we met another American family. They were from Florida and really friendly. Carla and Jose was there names, he was very interesting to talk to because he raced horses for 32 years. I picked his brain on that one evening and found it enthralling. The kids had an army of pals by the time we left. They played football 24/7 for four days straight and had an international brood of kids to say their goodbyes too. In the evening we would all meet up in the camp bar area where all the chairs were lined up for watching the World Cup. Tristan  showed up with five or six young Irish kids following him around. It was adorable they were all so cute. At one point he told me one of the little boys about seven years old ran into his arms crying because the Italian boys called him fat. He apparently was a bit fat, but Tristan reassured him that they didn't speak English and didn't know what that word meant. So sweet. I'm so proud.

   Then there were the girls. We have nicknamed Tristan Casanova.  He is really not interested in them but this harem of girls from italy and Ireland stalked him and Brock. The kids were under strict instructions to stay together and under no circumstances go to anyone's camp sight whether it's a boy or girl . At one point when they bought their  pizza the aggressive little Italian girls snatched the box from their hands and said" come eat with us" they of said no .. Good boys... The girls said they had set a table for them... Haha I imagine it had candles and the works. They were very insistent , Brock said he said a prayer ,  so cute,  in the end of course they turned the girls down, and then there were the Irish girls who followed them around like stray puppies. When we left the next day, three girls were waiting at the exit. They knew it was our day to leave. When our car pulled up you would have thought we had justin Beber in the car,  they all practically jumped up and down. Tristan said goodbye with a sheepish embarrassed grin, Brock was so scared he hid in the car. Girls will be girls. Let's be glad the kids are more interested in football and video games. 

  On our way to our next sight we stopped at a hillside town called San gimagnano . It was a beautiful very old town but very touristy. Again this is one of those times, when you hear someone say, you have to go to this place so you set out to find it and in the end your like , ok it's another touristy town. Every shop was meant for tourism, and the trouble with these towns, as I see it , is you don't get the true flavor of italy. The people are never quite as friendly probably because they are so sick of people, and the place is touristy so  there's no need to be extra nice because more tourists are two steps behind you. This reminds me of our Italian buddies at the restaurant in Verona  who when we asked about belagio replied " diareah" ... That has become our joke. If were not to impressed with a place we say  diareah. Well nothing in lake como is quite diareah, but belagio definitely did not excite me.  We loved the smaller town varenna much better.  We stopped at a jewelry shop and were smitten by the old man there who apparently liked us to because he gave the kids a turtle made from volcanic rock from his store.  And actually I liked lake Garda every bit as much as como. My favorite places personally are the towns where people just live. They are old and charming and when you wind through there narrow streets the air is filled with the scent of fresh laundry swaying in the breeze above your head, and sometimes the door to someone's house is open and you spy and old woman watching t.v. Or maybe cooking or their dog wanders out to greet you, and the people smile at you curiously because they wonder why you are here? Why are you not in belagio? I love the cafés in these small towns when obviously everyone knows each other and you stand out like and elephant in a tea shop. I particularly like visiting the cemeteries. The gravestones always have a photo of the person and I stare at them and  think what a wonderful life they must have had living their  life here and growing old here and what a lovely place to be buried. 

     After San gimagnano we drove to a thermal river spot we were told about by a Dutch man who lives in italy. It's a river where a spring from the mountain poars out hot sulphury mineral water. This place has been in use for two thousand years. The water has created these little tubs in the rocks that are like being in a hot tub. It's believed that the water can cure all sorts of ailments. It helped cure my bad mood for sure. 

  Yes I was In a very bad mood. This trip is not 100% awesome every moment of every day. Sometimes I am so tired from the constant moving around and the biggest problem for me is the car rides. I hate car trips. Even though we havent had to drive more than six hours at a time it still is awful to me. There is still the same fight we had three years ago. Who gets the window seat? I believe my kids would fight to the death to insist on the window seat. At what point do they stop this? It's pure hell. As I've already confessed, all my reasoning falls on deaf ears. I end up holding my ears and cradling my knees in the front seat of the car and rocking back and forth like a crazed mental person. When they were young If I served cake or ice cream I told them whoever grabbed to get the first piece for himself would get the smallest serving. Instead of instilling in them generosity in them , they quickly turned it into ,... "You go first, no you go first" .... My plan backfired. As hard as I try to sort this  fight out I fail miserably every time. 

   So by the time we got to the river none of us were in a great mood. Of course it smells like rotten eggs. So the first thing the kids say is diareah.... Little turds..,.. It was lovely... You can cool yourself in the river, then go back into the hot pools and even get a free massage under the pipe of hot hot water poring into the pool. You can rub the rocks together and make a mask for your face. I did it after I saw a few people doing it. My skin was glowing after. An awesome experience.   I believe everyone there was Italian. I will also add it was completely free. 

   Apparently Tuscany is full of these spots so we plan on hitting another one. 

   I'm missing my family and friends, especially my mom and dad. Mom if your reading this, I think about you guys every day and we all keep you in our prayers. Hang in there, we'll be home soon .

Pictures

The difference between Dutch and English

   The duth rock at futbol. The men are hot , and not just because they are running ferociously chasing a ball to kick it in a net. They win the game. The people all dress up to watch the game, loyally in their orange shirts, they are intent at every play and when they win, they dance and sing, then  within ten minutes it's over. They all leave. They tuck themselves in their Dutch covers ,  I guess and go to sleep?

   England :   There are more straight teethe in my family than the entire team and all the people in this camp watching the game .   The main difference, the game is over. They are still here, drinking talking. They lush it up like the Danes. They are funny. They are entertaining. I love their accent. I love them all! 

  Cultural diversity. It's beautiful. 

Lessons

  I have had an epiphony .  This shall come as no surprise to those who know us well. We suck at disciplining. Discipline is a necessary and important feature in rearing children. It molds screaming selfs centered babies into productive self sufficient members of society. It's clearly plays a prominent roll in parenting.

   These are my tactics. If you try to murder each other no gelato for a week!!! And I mean it!!! Umm if they are dead, they won't taste the gelato anyhow.

   Then there's the reasoning. This is how I read its supost to be done. I calmly and kindly try to rationalize the irrational feelings and temperaments of three raging hormonal maniacs. I give it my best , my words are like a thin napkin of garbage that float away silently in a violent wind. 

   At one point I recommended jim pull over the car and punch them all in the face. Now this one is original atleast. I've never had this recommended in the parenting books I've read ,but hey perhaps this is the ticket , this will actually solve all the disciplining dilemmas. Just a quick punch in the face and it will scare them silly and they will be quiet , sophisticated decent little men from here on out. I'll write about in a book, sell a million copies and retire in italy drinking wine on my vineyard . When I fervently voiced this plan on one of our road trips, they all burst out in laughter instead of the dreadful fear I hoped to invoke. 

   Basically I am full of empty threats.

  My epiphony is that .... Dadada.... None if it works, and yet still they are amazing kind ,   Yes LOUD little humans. I am terrible at administering discipline but with that said, still they are still awesome little guys.