Willie oh willie take me home...

  The almafi coast was beautiful. I imagine that greece is similar. Old white stucco buildings hugging the cliffs above the blue medieranian sea. We ate lunch at a place perched on a cliff that felt as if we were in a boat floating on the water. Pasta with fresh clams , bruschetta , more pizza for the kids. A sweet old Italian guy was the cook and the server. His face was sweet and tender and he kindly cared for us, treating us to cookies after our meal and reassuring me the con artist who ripped me off at the roadside vegetable stand is no reflection of southern italy itself.  The coastal towns were pretty touristy, but I could easily see why people visit here.

  Still I was having a hard time, being " in the moment" I kept thinking about home. The crook who ripped me off May be what tipped me over the homesick edge.   I have so much on my mind, I'll see if I can put it into words.

  Part of this adventure , this biggest part really, is the time we have to spend getting to know each other, and myself. That brings me back to the fraudulent fruit man. Jim pulled off the road to take a picture of the ocean view. There was a man with a truck there selling fruit. Jim lingered taking photos. I thought to myself, we shouldn't park here because this guy needs customers to pull off and buy stuff. This was a public area though, so we were doing nothing wrong. Still I got out not because I needed fruit, but because I felt obligated. The man spoke no English, I said I'd like a few cherries and maybe a watermelon.  I looked around and noticed two chiwawa 's then I saw three more. We looked over the fence on the road and I'm not kidding there had to twenty rabid chiwawa's that all wanted to eat us alive. This evil dog breeding ground wasn't exactly the makings of an " appetizing" fruit farm. He picked a cherry out of the basket and handed it to me to taste. How sweet. His hands looked as though he had a manicure in a dung pile, my eyes widened as I stared at his hand with layers of dirt and in slow motion he handed it to me waiting for me to try. Now instinctively, I didn't want to eat the cherry, it was surely covered in ecolli, and whatever other things linger in poop. But here's where I learn about myself.  I looked back at the dirty man , and popped the cherry in my mouth so I wouldn't hurt his feelings. This is ludicrous I know. Then he started putting gobs of cherries in the bag, I tried to slow him down, next thing you know he's putting peaches and nectarines in the bag. Oh well I think to myself, I guess we will get some of those too, even though I hate the furry skin of peaches. At least everything in italy is inexpensive. Then he drags out this scale, the most ridiculous fakest looking scale I've ever seen in my life,by this time Tristan and Brock are there with me. He looks at me and says 27€ .... Ok that's crazy I have a tiny watermelon, some cherries a few peaches bla bla bla.   Now my eyes are really wide at this point. The kids are like " mom, put it back forget it!"  But nooo..... I'm to much a stinking people pleaser for that. So I tell him politely ",to much, I don't want the nectarines,"  he put them back 3 of them and then tells me 22€.  Why do I care about pleasing this dirty cheat? What's wrong with me? How hard is it to say no?   So what do I do? I pull out a 50€ and hand it over to the man. Now the boys and Jimmie have  not let me forget about this for a minute. They insisted I take my picture next to the watermelons that were only  . 50€ . This whole incident really bugged me, and what really bothered me most was I knew he wasn't being honest and yet I still let him take advantage . So maybe it was this incident that got me in the funk that has made these last few days harder. 

   I have to admit, I am homesick. I'm ready to come home. I'm tired of the constantly being on the go. We have certainly seen so much but I've reached the point of mental exhaustion and I don't care about seeing anything anymore. Jimmie has much more stamina than me and can just go and go but I'm tired. I'm done.  Yesterday, we drove to mt. Vesuvius , this the day after Pompeii .  Some of us were not interested in seeing it but there was no way jim was going to miss it so we were happy to join him. Brock reminded him we have volcanos at home. Yes but, not volcanos that destroyed ancient cities. Okay... Fair enough... So back in the car we go. An hour and a half drive then and 30 minute walk up to the top of the crevice. I stared down into the " volcano" it's a giant pit of sand. I think jim expected to see bubbling lava. 

   Okay then were off to find the ferry in Naples to take us to the island of Capri. This is all in one day mind you, turns out the tickets to go there would cost us too much money so we changed our mind and I was so glad. Vacation overload. It happens when you try to see everything , I've lost interest.

  So instead we found ourselves at a nearby beach. It was an interesting experience. You get to the parking area and they " valet" your car , which means they squeeze it into this tiny space with fifty other cars and scratch the heck out of your bumper. Then you have to rent a loung chair on the beach. Fair enough and how can I complain about that?  So after you pay you follow the guy who carries your chair and literally step over people in their chairs until he finds space , but not really, for your chairs. I stare in disbelief when  He places our chairs 2 inches from the strangers in their speedos and woman with her hairy armpits . I had to laugh at this point.  People were laying on this beach squeezed so tight we were literally like sardines in a can.  Well I just kinda rolled with it, and was reminded how silly us Americans are with our need for personnel space. 

   After the beach we went to the town of sessa auranica for dinner. It was my kind of place, no tourists shop were seen and people stared at us like we were cone head aliens because everyone and I mean everyone is Italian. Dinner was great, so incredibly inexespensive. We ordered the " local wine" for 5€ and he brought us a liter in a carafe. It was delicious. 

   Willie Nelson played as we were driving, he sang " always on my mind" .  It was then that I was completely homesick. When I hear willie sing, I close my eyes and see mom and dad slowly dancing across the living room floor. Tears instantly streamed down my cheeks. I used to love to watch them dance , and they loved willie. I miss my parents, I especially miss my dad being healthy and how they were so in love with each other.  When I go home, I won't get to see them dance, we all watch in horror as daddy's health deteriorates.  But I want to go home still.  I was blessed with an amazing family, and I think of all of them, my brothers and my sister and I think, I wish they were here with me.  Dave would like this, Judy would love that, Danny would love her, Jon Jon has been here and loved this.  I wish mom would fly, I'd bring her here. Daddy is always In my heart and constantly on my mind. 

  So at the end of it all, with all my fantisations of moving abroad and doing something exotic and different there really is no place like home. That's where I belong, near my family and friends in my congregation. As much as I love everything about it here it's not like I could move here and just make it all mine. Everyone who knows me, knows I love to move, and expect me to pick up and take off again. But I think maybe those days are over, it's not for certain, but it seems that way. Traveling for this long gives me that " run away" feeling I love.  I remember " running away" when I was seven years old with my best friend Rachel. We packed oranges in a pillowcase and tied the pillow case to a long stick which we put over our shoulders . I loved the excitement of it. Maybe that's what gave me my run away heart. 

  Right now this heart of mine is ready to fly home.